Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A loss for words....

I have been avoiding the whole blogging scene for the past few weeks because I am at a loss for words. And I suppose also because I was afraid of the words. I knew that so many of you would be posting beautiful thoughts about Kathleen and the truth is I didn't want to deal with the emotions. I can be strong if I have to be for a while but I have to be strict with where I let my mind go. And the hard thing about this situation is that there are so many unknowns, what ifs and wait and sees, that its hard to not let your mind wonder.

I have spent the last hour reading and crying. I am jealous of how beautifully you all are able express your thoughts and feelings. But I would like to add a few simple thoughts of my own.

When I tell people that I live with my in-laws the response is almost always the same. There is a slight tilt of the head and an "ooh" with a hint of pity in the voice. Followed by "how does that work?". And the truth is it works well. I don't think many people could have our situation and be able to say that, so i am grateful. Most people would think that living with their in-laws was a burden but I think of it as a blessing. I have been able to get to know Lo and Kathleen on a level that would not have been possible under other circumstances.

And now as we sit and worry and wait I am especially grateful for every conversation that I have been able to have with Kathleen over the last year and a half. She is truly an amazing women. I have enjoyed listening to her stories of motherhood, wife hood, and sisterhood and I have come to look to her as an example of what I would like to be one day.

I have also been very touched by what I have seen in the love that exists between Kathleen and Lo. Very often they go to bed much earlier than we do and most of the time all we hear is the buzz of the T.V. in the hours that follow. Every once in a while though HUGE bursts of laughter will come from the room. Sometimes Kathleen will come out to tell us how hilarious she thinks Lo is but most of the time we just here them both laughing. I find it to be absolutely adorable that after all these years they still are happiest just sitting and talking with each other. So many couples grow apart through the years of raising kids that it so refreshing to see a couple so in love with each other even after all the hard years. They give me hope.

I have said to Vaughn many times in the past seven years that I feel like I married up. I feel lucky and blessed everyday that I was a able to join a family as amazing as this one.



We love you Grannie!! Hope you are home with us soon!!

5 comments:

Tara said...

Ya, that's funny I spent alot of yesterday crying and reading, too. Thank you for loving my mom. I am glad you made a post about it, and it was beautiful. I really appreciate your sacrifices and love you have given to our family. We are blessed you are apart of it. Love you!

Mich n Dan said...

Thanks Kindra, that was really beautiful. I always enjoy hearing everyones different point of views. I never really knew how much you loved my parents but it makes sense because that is the type of person you are. I am so glad you are a part of our family. Miss you and love you.

Eliza said...

One of my favorite sounds on earth is my parents laugher. Boisterous, loud, full of life, rich. I am sometimes accused of having my mother's snort, but I'm ok with that! They are so in love with each other and my heart is broken for dad. I literally can almost feel his pain and loneliness for her and my heart aches for him. Everybody knows he is happiest when he is with her. I appreciate your thoughts and insights, thanks for sharing, it's good to hear from you! :)

Jill said...

Kindra,

Your words so thoughtful and pure! You are wonderful! OUr prayers are with the family!

MMMWWWWAAA

Kris said...

I think sometimes life happens to us and Heavenly Father lets us see what we can learn while it is happening. Sometimes there may not be a specific lesson or golden nugget for us to find, but if we, through our faith, prayer, and intuition find something to gleen then we are that much better off!
You are a wonderful person with much to give and I am glad I know you! Have a good one, Kris